Okay Focus Sit still Don't tap your leg
She's still looking at the menu
She's been looking at the menu for eight goddamn minutes
There are three options Chicken, Beef, or Fish
For fucks sake Jennifer Just pick your protein
It's Friday at noon, I'm sitting at this Noodle House, table for two
With this blouse, of a girl named Jen, who's got a zest for life there is so much zen
in fact she looks like a vision That screams everything happens for a reason. Great
She starts her season with story about her coworker, a guy named Nate.
And my brain just Activates
I see the pattern, I map the route, it's cute...really
I already compute the end
She's gonna say Nate ate her lunch, and she's upset with her friend
I know the punchline I know the end I know the dramatic pause
But I gotta sit here and wait for her to open her jaws
And pronounce Every Single Syllable It's agonizing
My patience is un-killable
I'm nodding my head, giving the appropriate No way
While my brain is solving calculus and planning out my day
I'm finishing her sentences in my head like a game of Wheel of Fortune
He ate my...Sandwich From the...Fridge It was a small...Portion
Bing, bing, bing I win the prize.
But on the outside, I'm just looking deep into her eyes.
Masking. Performance art Trying not to tear the fuckin napkin apart
Finaly, she asks me what I do Here comes a switch
I try to summarize the complexity of my life bitch, please
But I know if I go full Yagu her eyes will glaze
So I gotta dumb it down, navigate this social maze
I start to speak...but I'm talking in bullet points, rapid fire
I-write-prompts-make-music-fight-oligarchy-for-hire
I dump the info in three seconds flat. Efficiency Boom
But I see the confusion spread... all across the room
I stopped too early. I didn't give her the fluff
I didn't talk about the journey or how it's tough
I just gave her the T-L-D-R, The full story. Big zip
She looks at me like I just started speaking through a microchip
She blinks. Once. Twice
There's a piece of spinach in her teeth It's very precise
At 45-degrees I want to point it out.
But social protocol says I gotta live with the doubt.
My leg is bouncing under the table, creating a seismic event
She asks Are you nervous? No, Jen.
I'm just trying to pay the fucking rent Of sitting in this chair without screaming at the wall.
I'm bored! I'm vibrating! I wanna make a call!
I should say all that, but to what end
I stifle the scream cause I'm chasing the prize
I'm trading my brain cells for pretty blue eyes
I swallow the boredom, I put on the guise,
Just nodding along to the rhythm of lies
She's dim as a bulb that is starting to fade
But I'll sit in the dark just to try and get laid
I wanna go home and prompt a beat that moves at my speed,
So sure... tell me more about the organic bird seed
You bought for your parakeet No way Jen, that's uhm. thrilling
The check comes Thank God What sweet fuckin release
I pull out my card, trying to broker the peace
I think I nailed it Was polite Didn't scream
I successfully navigated the human social stream
I'm calculating the tip 20 percent of sixty-four
Twelve-eighty Easy math, now let's get the fuck outta the door
Then she looks at me Puts her hand on my arm
Here it comes the rejection The lack of charm
She's gonna say I'm too intense Too weird Too manic Sound every alarm
I brace myself for the criticism, trying not to panic
She sighs Look, Aidan You're a really nice guy Here we go
But honestly? You're just a little too dry
Excuse me? Yeah she says
You're just very ...simple Very straightforward, you know? Simple?
I need someone with layers Someone less stable
Someone who surprises me and is less Predictable
Yeah Now, I stand on the sidewalk Man, the fuck is going on?
I'm the man predicting her entire life story before it even begun
I lowered the bar 'til it touched on the floor
I gave her the nice guy, I gave her the bore
I acted like her just to get through the door
Now she says my dude yo, you incredibly poor?
She hates what she sees when I show her the view
Fuck sake. I wasn't being me Jen I was being you
Screw it I put my headphones on Volume ten Drum 'n' Bass 170 BPM
Ah, finally Something that can keep up
Man. and they say machines are predictable
She did ordered the Chicken I knew she was gonna order the Chicken